I apologize for writing a sad post once again.. Just wanted to release some of that feeling dwelling inside of me. Feeling down lately and I thought that I can use some laughter in my life. But apparently laughing and smiling doesn’t help much and I’m back to where I started.
I went to watch movie alone for the very first time. It was a comedy and there I was just sitting there quietly and absorbing the images flashing on the big screen. Motionless, I just sat there until the movie was over. Never thought that I will be alone in the cinema watching a damn movie in the middle of the day. But it was an experience nonetheless.
Went to a company’s gathering recently and I was glad I went because I got to drink the limitless alcohol that was provided to us. But the weird thing is.. No matter how much I drank, I can’t seemed to forget about every damn sad thing. I just kept drinking and drinking(I bet everyone was impressed with how much I can drink) but at the end of the day, I know that alcohol can’t solve anything but I still drank my heart out going back home sober.
Went out with my good friend yesterday night for a movie night out. She asked about the past relationship about me and sy. And as I was explaining things, flashbacks, memories, every single details came back to me.. I felt like I could just go somewhere and hide while I cry my eyes out. Even the comedy doesn’t seemed funny anymore. She reminded me of how much I’m still in love with her and how I still couldn’t just give her up. She said to give it time and I wish that time can be forgiving and pass by me faster.
She made it clear that we are not going to have any future. Somehow I still wish for a future. Still don’t know how to say goodbye. So I guess I will just wait.
Sat under the sky watching as stars light up the dark blue sky. Slowly shining one by one as they becomes visible in the night sky. I wish that I could be one; a bright star in the galaxy.