Can I just start by saying that I didn’t know that studying can be so tiring or rather I forgot. It’s only day 2 of studying and even though I can say that I have most of the materials studied, I don’t know if I can do it when it comes to the real thing. Practiced a few mock exam papers and people just keep telling me that I am going to do well. So now the question is what if I don’t?
I have always lived with the thinking that I don’t want to disappoint the people around me that have expectations of me. Sometimes, expectations so high that it is scary just thinking about it. However, I don’t know what scares me more; the fact that I might disappoint or the fact that I am enjoying the thrill of having the pressure. Do I sound sick in the mind? I can assure you that it is not the case. Oh yeah.. I have a draft sitting there since forever about star signs, so if we are talking about this then I guess there is no better timing to bring it up?
As a Virgo, I have always been a perfectionist. I want to do things to the best of my abilities and always asking more from me or the people around me. Sometimes it is tiring having to do things with a certain expectations of yourself but time and time again, I have proven myself that I can do better as long as I put my heart and soul into it. Everything I do, I want to do the best and hope that I can finally meet my own expectations. Maybe that is why I enjoy the pressure, the stress and everything that goes with it; I strive under stress. So when I read about horoscopes, the things that they always say about a Virgo is 80-90% true at least for me. So I began to have an interest in reading horoscopes. But more on that some other time. 🙂
Drowning or being lost is kind of a familiar feeling to me. Having to deal with all the pressure and stress, makes me feel alive. Maybe you would say that it isn’t healthy but this is what that made me who I am today. All my accomplishments, all my commitments and achievements, everything comes from my expectation of myself. I want to do the best of my ability for this time round too. Sorry that I rant about this so much in this post! But I hope that you can now know more about the person who is constantly writing on this blog. I don’t always let people into my life that easily because it is also giving them the ability to hurt you. But if I don’t, then who is there left to love me for who I am? Having a blog helps when you have things on your mind and you aren’t comfortable telling the people around you. Sometimes, it is the people you don’t know that helps you up when you are down; You just have to let them in.
You are never alone in this world. Always know that somewhere out there, people are reading what you write about your life. Even though, they don’t know you, they can be your biggest fans. 🙂