A letter to the ones that walked away

Thank you.

Firstly, I want to thank you because of you, I learnt how to be a better person for someone else. I learnt more about myself and how I should love someone, so when I finally find her, I can treat her right. I learnt how to be myself and treat the one I love better than before. No one knows how to love since we were born but we learn and pick up experiences along the way. So I guess I have to thank the people that entered and exited my life because I might not be the same person I am today if it wasn’t for you.

I am Me.

I found out a lot about myself during these period because you get to know yourself better. Like from your likes and dislikes to other things like your character and personality and step by step, you tend to feel that you are moving towards the person of your dreams.

You can’t expect people to love you if you don’t love yourself.

Is what I would constantly remind myself of and I learnt that the hard way. In the past, I often find myself loving someone too much to a point where I feel that I somehow lost myself during the course of the relationship. I think for everyone except for myself and put everyone’s interest before mine. It was horrible and I hated myself for it because it felt like I locked myself up in a corner of my mind and struggling to break free. I couldn’t breathe and had to constantly be fighting to catch my breath. After a few months, I finally came true to myself and got myself out. I started to think for myself and see the truth that I wasn’t happy pretending to be someone I’m not for somebody else.

That was one of the many lessons I picked up while loving someone in the past and I think that I became a better person as a result of it. Now that I look back at all of the relationship that I have been through, I guess I have to really thank them because…

Somehow, someway… They will lead me to find the one that was meant for me.

and because I feel that I am a better person now, I feel that I can finally love her right this time.

Thank you. I will be cherishing her from now on. 

My definition of love 

Everyone have their very own definition of love or how they hope for it to be. But more often than not, things aren’t as easy as just boy meeting girl and happily ever after follows. In real life, we go through ups and downs together to see if we are really suitable for each other. 

Truth be told, there will only be two exits at the end of this path; marriage or break up. There’s no third exit and we like to base the relationship on thoughts like these. As I grow older, I realised that love life is usually more than just being happy and loving each other as it also encompasses other factors as well. 

Mine has always been simple and straightforward. Loving someone is like wishing nothing but the best for her. Wishing that she will be there with you every step of the way. Whenever some place, some food or event that comes to your mind, she is the first person I will think of. I will place her as my priority and if she needs me, I’m there. That’s roughly my definition of love. Of course there’s always more to it but yup I guess everyone have their own way of loving someone. 

But whatever it is, we make sure that the other person feels your love and knows how you really feel. Everyone have their own definition and if you’re lucky enough to find someone that matches yours, then I say you’re a very lucky person. 

In today’s society, there are many breakups, misunderstanding and cheating going about which often leads us to believe that true love can hardly exist anymore. But it’s really not that difficult if you are willing to put in the effort, willing to put yourself out there and willing to allow yourself to get hurt. One day, he/she will find you, that I will always believe. 

It’s all about the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride. I feel that the ups are equally as important as the downs in life. And it reminds me of one of my favourite quote: 

“The rainbow only comes after the rain.”

I guess I’m lucky. 😁

A triangular tale

Anyone heard of the Triangular theory of love? This is a theory of love developed by Robert Sternburg and I find it quite an interesting read. So let’s go a little deeper into it shall we? 😊 This theory is basically made up of three components: Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. 

One type love

Intimacy refers to the closeness or the feelings of attraction towards each other. It also consist of the the two sharing close bonds. Intimacy love felt between two people means that they feel a sense of high regard for each other. They wish for their partner to be happy, share with them, help them and communicate with each other. It is often referred to as warm love as it brings two people close together. 

Passion refers to the physical attraction and sexual desires are usually a part of passionate love. This is considered as hot love because of the strong presence of arousal between two people. 

Commitment refers to lovers who are willing to commit themselves for a long term relationship. However it is also said that one can also be committed to someone without feeling love for the other person and vice verse. This is considered the cold love as it does not require intimacy or passion. 

Of course there are more in depth explanation which can be found else where but this is suppose to be like the cut down version. There are the two type of love: Romantic Love(intimacy+passion), Companionate Love(intimacy+commitment) and Fatuous Love(passion+commitment) and the last type which consist all three type: Consummate Love. 

As a PH.D. holder in relationship(self proclaimed) and a love guru(also self proclaimed) I find this theory rather interesting and it is true to some sense. Something to think about for sure but I would like to think that in society nowadays, it’s hard to find the love that consist of all three type. Which I find it saddening. One type of love are getting more and more common nowadays which scares me a little. 

But I’m a believer. I still hope that she’s out there searching for me. And please please… If you found me, don’t let me go? Or rather slap me to wake me up…😅

The colors that appears after the rain. See you soon. 

Magic in this world

Do you believe in magic? 

Magic. Illusions and misdiction are often used to let people believe that magic does exist. A slight change of hands or movement can mean a million things but only the magician knows. But the question again is, is there such a thing called magic if that’s the case. 

Personally, I believe that there’s magic but it’s a totally different type of magic. The magic I believe in is the magic in the universe. 

Often we experience things that we cannot explain with our minds. With all the knowledge and experience, we just can’t seem to comprehend how it worked out to be like how we are today. Miracles is what some might call it. Be it a small or a big one, I believe it’s the universe telling us that it is working its magic one at a time. 

Magic or miracles are just one of the wonderful things in the world that we tend to experience it once in a while. It can be things like having your things returned to you after you dropped it somewhere to bigger things like someone waking up from a 10 year long coma. I don’t know if it exist before because to me, it is only seen in dramas or movies but I certainly hope for such miracles to happen. So you see, we tend to experience all these kind of amazing things once in a while so people have got to stop finding excuses to tell me that their life sucks. 

Yes. Everyone’s life sucks. But it’s only at some point that it sucks and you’re probably not the only one. Why don’t you celebrate happily when life is good to you? I don’t see people complaining when it’s good. Or some people will want it to be better. 

Can’t we ever be satisfied with what we have? 

From what I see, I enjoy all the ups and downs of life. And quoting from a drama that I recently watched: “Everything that has happened to me till where I am today, I wouldn’t change a thing even if I could. Because it made me who I am today.” It’s not a word to word quote but it was taken from the drama “The Flash” which is an awesome show btw. I think with that said, this is why I love dramas because not only they give entertainment but sometimes we get to learn a thing or two. 

Keep on running. 

Under the sky full of stars

People fear change because it’s not a familiar feeling. That’s why most of us are still stuck in the first spot and not moving out. 

So recently, I’m busy busy BUSY!! Draining my soul everyday but somehow still getting up everyday to do what I’m suppose to do. I suppose that I find my life more fulfilling than in the past now as I’m contributing to the little things in life. Slowly setting my past mistakes and sorting them out one by one. It’s never an easy process but I’m hanging in there!

A new chapter in my life is starting soon and I can’t wait for it to happen. Hopefully I will enjoy it and learn a few thing or two as well. I want to be able to do my parents proud and not let them worry so much this time round. So fingers crossed! hehe

So much celebrations and so much happiness in my life currently and I am happy with how things are. Constantly finding reasons or things to make you smile, or just realising that you have the little things in life that can make you smile a little brighter. I am in a good place now and loving it.

Till next time… stay happy. 🙂