Simple days are over.

In a few hours time, I will be attending my first lesson as an University student and damn it has been too long. I delayed my studies for two years before applying to further studies as I did not have the fortune of paying my school fees. So these two years, I worked hard to find myself jobs to earn my fees and finally, I’m enrolled into this year’s class. To be absolutely honest, the least of  what I’m feeling is excited; which is the question most people would ask.

Having my life without textbooks and lecture notes for a good four years, I hope that my brain does not “shut off” when I need it the most. I guess that I have to do my best to keep myself awake and focus even after a long day at work. I believe in me; I can do it.

Nowadays, work hasn’t been all that smooth with all sorts of shit coming up. Sometimes it might just feel so unbearable that you need to step away from your desk so that you can get your focus and mind back to where it needs to be. But thanks to the amazing company of friends that I have, work can never get too stressful for me. We even came up with a name for our group just combining our first initials together to form “MLD”. We can tell each other anything and trust each other with it. We can joke and laugh in the middle of a random conversation that one of us started at a random time. They are friends that I would not trade for anything else.

I know that my title may have indicated that the simple days are over but that is not the case whenever I am together with my girl. Everytime, she seems to have the right ingredients to make my sorrows, stress and all hardship go away. I guess that’s what love does for you when it’s right. Always showered with more love than I ever felt day in day out and never to take anything for granted. I think that’s how I survive through everything; having the support I need to take a single step everyday.

To be loved, oh what a feeling to have.

 

“It was never me against the world when I have people behind my back to push me through it all.”

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Magic in this world

Do you believe in magic? 

Magic. Illusions and misdiction are often used to let people believe that magic does exist. A slight change of hands or movement can mean a million things but only the magician knows. But the question again is, is there such a thing called magic if that’s the case. 

Personally, I believe that there’s magic but it’s a totally different type of magic. The magic I believe in is the magic in the universe. 

Often we experience things that we cannot explain with our minds. With all the knowledge and experience, we just can’t seem to comprehend how it worked out to be like how we are today. Miracles is what some might call it. Be it a small or a big one, I believe it’s the universe telling us that it is working its magic one at a time. 

Magic or miracles are just one of the wonderful things in the world that we tend to experience it once in a while. It can be things like having your things returned to you after you dropped it somewhere to bigger things like someone waking up from a 10 year long coma. I don’t know if it exist before because to me, it is only seen in dramas or movies but I certainly hope for such miracles to happen. So you see, we tend to experience all these kind of amazing things once in a while so people have got to stop finding excuses to tell me that their life sucks. 

Yes. Everyone’s life sucks. But it’s only at some point that it sucks and you’re probably not the only one. Why don’t you celebrate happily when life is good to you? I don’t see people complaining when it’s good. Or some people will want it to be better. 

Can’t we ever be satisfied with what we have? 

From what I see, I enjoy all the ups and downs of life. And quoting from a drama that I recently watched: “Everything that has happened to me till where I am today, I wouldn’t change a thing even if I could. Because it made me who I am today.” It’s not a word to word quote but it was taken from the drama “The Flash” which is an awesome show btw. I think with that said, this is why I love dramas because not only they give entertainment but sometimes we get to learn a thing or two. 

Keep on running. 

It’s been a while

Above is a picture of a sunset in California taken by one of my friends. It was taken for me so that I could be jealous of the view there😓 but nonetheless, it’s a beauty. 

Lately I feel drained like things are happening way too fast and I’m just trying to catch up. Panting heavily with every step along the way and it wasn’t easy to get to today. I’m starting to begin my work as a tutor tomorrow and I’m freaking out (maybe that’s why I’m still posting at this timing) because I haven’t taught anyone like this before. And I’m nervous that I might not do well in this. 

But… I shall keep positive and strive on! I’m Leon right? I’m suppose to be like that; confident and positive! Happy go lucky! Hehe😁

I’m having second thoughts about my current job just because I don’t seem to be motivated to work hard. I guess this might not be the type of job I would want. Hence, I’m in the search of a nice and stable job at least for now. And starting July, I’m enrolling into my university. So I’m hoping that I can get some cash real soon. 

Lights will lead me on the path of success. Step by step and I will get there eventually. 

Fight on Leon. Fight. 

What is your fear

This four letter word seems so small but yet it can haunt many of us for most of our life. Most of us still live in fear every passing day and sometimes I fall into that deep dark hole too. But it’s okay because we are not perfect. 

Fear is something that we will be fighting for the rest of our life whether we want it or not. And the scary thing about is that it can exist even in the smallest of thought. I read an online post about fear and I like how they describe fear as. 

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.

Fear makes us more cautious about the things happening around us and sometimes it can make someone shake down to their very bones. But the ironic thing is that we have to face our demons to release ourselves for fear itself. Then the question:

How many people are willing to face their demons. 

In the society we live in today, the increase in fear causes a lot of people to be stressed out, depressed, insane or just can’t find anything to be satisfied with. The fear of not succeeding, the fear of letting someone down, the fear of failing are just examples of us today. Is it that we are giving ourselves too much pressure or have our society forced everyone to be like this. 

President Franklin Roosevelt once said that “the only thing that we have to fear is fear itself”

And I find that very true. The fear of having fears is most likely the cause of a lot of our fears today. 

I’m scared of a lot of things because this mind of mine don’t stop often. But I’m not scared of facing my fears because I know that I have people around me that have my back. So when I fall, I never stay down. 

We are just scared of our inner demons. Lend some power and fight it. Remember that you are never, never, alone. 

So what is your fear? 

Step by step

The size of our feet varies from big to small and frankly speaking, that doesn’t matter. Unless you are out buying shoes. All of us walk the same path to our old age; some giving up halfway, some striving on to hold on to their last breath, some crawling and grabbing to anything they can hold on to. But most of us, we carry our burdens and continue walking down the path; not because we are strong but because we don’t want to stop. 

So the thing is never about how big or far your leap is but rather if you don’t stop moving forward, you will eventually get there. Small steps or big ones… It doesn’t matter as long as you get to your finishing line. 

I believe that we can get through it together, small steps at a time and I will be walking through it together with you.