Twenty Sixteen

LIke the most of us, 2016 has been full of ups and downs. Some of us experienced probably some of the happiest moments in their entire life while others might have a hell of a time surviving. Let’s just remember to keep loving and be kind to one another.

2016 is going down to be one of my most memorable and happiest time so far; the best being able to meet the love of my life but more about that later. In the beginning of the year, I was pretty much stuck with my direction in life. What do I do from here onwards? Am I really going to continue with this path? What is the best path for me to take right now? All these questions inside my head left unanswered and waiting for one day when it just pops right in. It was full of uncertainty and changes with people coming in and out of my life, things happening one after another and the stress of trying to keep up with life itself.

Working as a financial planner does have it perks where I can organize my time accordingly and commission is pretty good I have to admit. However, my passion died down along with the issues I faced at that point in time. I started putting my passion elsewhere and that was to be a tutor. This will have to go down as one of the best decision that I made for myself as my passion or rather ‘the fire within me’ lit up when I was teaching. With every student I have, with every lesson that I taught, seeing them grow and improve lesson by lesson, is something rewarding to me and may I say one of my proudest moments in my life. Be it when you received a thank you message, a present, or just a simple smile can make my day a whole lot better. One of the most memorable student that I taught have to be this primary 4 boy.

When I first took on this role as his tutor, I have to admit that I have no idea how do I even begin. There was no foundation and things weren’t looking all that pleasant at all. We struggled together to find the best way for him to learn and study. Fair enough, through all those hard work and effort we put in together, he improved from a 30 plus student to a 74 marks student for his end of year examinations. Seeing that smile on both his mother and his face, I felt that all the tough times were all worth it; all of that in exchange for that one single moment. It reminded me of the time when I had tuition for my A-maths; 32 marks to 76 by the end of the year. It just felt extra special when I know that I changed someone’s life for the better.

Soon, my career took a turn for the better when I was offered a job at a bank and it really helped as I was at that point in time where I have no idea what direction am I suppose to head to. It was a compliance role and I am still enjoying the thrill of a challenging job. There were times where it is stress and tiring, but I knew that I just have hold on and things will fall into place. I have the pleasure of meeting a bunch of colleagues that made my everyday in the office a happy one and still thankful of all the care and concern they have been showing since day 1.

2016 was a year of romance for me when I have dated for quite a while and it just did not feel particularly right for me. That was until I met her. She brought the smiles into my life without much effort and can always put up with my weirdness or uniqueness which I like to call it. Have you ever feel that you don’t have to pretend to be anything or anyone and he/she just love you for who you are. That’s true love my friends. Nothing in the world feels better than knowing that you found the love of your life.

From her constant encouragements, loving messages, hugs and kisses to the serious situation when we can openly talk about our feelings, anything and everything felt better when you are with the right one. Things are just that simple. It makes me feel stupid feeling the need to hide my feelings in my past relationships. I am truly blessed and delighted that I got to meet someone so amazing like her.

That will be the summary of my 2016 as I included most of my most happening moments this year. Ushering in the new year with the people I surround myself with will be the happiest I have ever felt in a very long time. To think that everything just flew past us again, I am a year older next year. Time to be wiser, do what I know I can do best and show the world what I can do. Embrace 2017 and hope that things continues to run smoothly.

Thank you for those that I met, those that helped me, those that embraced me, those that advised me, those that have been there for me and those that love me. Without you, there would have never be me. 

Onwards… Time to start off a new page in my book. Onwards to 2017.


Rule 1: Remember to always love yourself

Anyone that knows me will know my number 1 rule in life: Remember to always love yourself. This means to not lose yourself; your likes and dislikes, your character, your habits, everything that makes you… you. 

Everytime someone new enters our lives, some of us tend to act differently and sometimes it just makes you feel like it’s harder to breathe. Be it a friendship or relationship, I always believe that being yourself attracts the right people to enter your life. If they don’t like the real you, then maybe they are not meant to be in your life after all. Don’t let people’s judgement of you affect you to a certain extent. We take in things that will make us change for the better and not change because the other party wants us to. There is a difference. You’d change because you know that it’s for the better, and hence the change, but not change because people want you to.

Your life isn’t meant to live for others and base on what they think. It’s called your life for a reason. People come and people go in life. That’s why breakups happen, that’s why friendship or bonds can break, that’s why we always find fault in ourselves when such things happen. I was once like this; pretending to be someone I’m not and it wasn’t the easiest of life I chose for myself. But I’m also glad at the same time because through that lesson, I grew to be more confident and started loving who I am more. 

Loving yourself and being yourself will always attract the right kind of people to stay in your life. 

Don’t change for others. Change only for yourself. 

Being yourself will attract people who likes you for who you are and never forget that. There will always be people who love you for who you are. Be true to yourself and have confidence. Because that’s how true friendships/relationship happens; when we are ourselves.

Everything begins when you start to learn how to love yourself. Just be selfish for once and learn more about you. If you don’t even learn to love yourself then how do you expect others to love you. 

The truth is that, TIME don’t stop for nobody. 

I looked back at my life so far and realised how far have I come, the paths that I took and the paths that I missed. From all the mistakes, failures and setbacks, I gained knowledge, experience and wisdom. But after today, I realised that I gained something else, something equally important; 


It suddenly hit me hard when my best friend said something to me; “Now that I been through it, I can truly understand how people feel when they tell me their heart broke. I guess you don’t truly understand it until you yourself been through it.”

I’m a guy that been through quite a lot of shit in my years and being a romantic helps in some ways too. Everytime someone tells me about their situation, I can always tell how they must have felt and what they are thinking and now I know the reason why. It’s not because I have superpowers or I just pretended to know but because I have been through it before and I know how it is dealing with pain like this. 

Having your heart broken is about the sadest thing that can happen to a person. It breaks you from within and it’s an indescribable pain you feel in your heart. You feel like the air around you in getting thinner and your eyes are burning with tears rolling down your cheeks. It happened to me a few times in my life and that feeling still haunts me whenever I think of it. I prayed that nobody have to ever have that awful feeling ever but I know that it’s not possible. 

It’s through pain where we learn, we grow

I was taught the hard way that my life has to go on whether I like it or not. Time doesn’t stop just because my world stops. I coop myself inside my room each day while the time that I’m never going to get back passes me by. It was one of the worse I felt in years and I didn’t want to share it with anyone else. It’s horrible to have all that cramped up inside you. It’s horrible to bury all the thoughts inside of your mind. But it’s extremely horrible that you think that you should be left alone in these situations. 

Because of all the pain and heartbreaks, I’m able to really understand and feel people’s heartbreak. Empathy. Sometimes all we need is someone to be there, listening and showing concern. All we need is to be heard and understood. 

And sometimes these can also be used as a reminder to the rest of us. 

Cherish what you treasure before it really gets buried forever. Never take anything or anyone for granted. 

Meeting up with my best friend made me see a lot of things that can serve as a useful reminder. I have to cherish the things that makes me happy because things like these don’t come often. Don’t take things for granted because as easily things come, it can disappear anytime too.

Be sensitive to one another’s feelings. Be kind and love each other. 

The day that I was born

6th September 1993

This was the day that I was brought into this world and through my 23 years of life here, I had my fair share of ups and downs, happiness and pain. As you can probably tell, I just celebrated my birthday a few days back and man was it one of the best birthdays ever. I went on a trip to Bangkok with my girlfriend for a nice 4 days getaway, got back just in time to celebrate it with my love ones. Although it was just a simple steamboat dinner, but I am just glad that everyone got together that night to celebrate my birthday.

A lot had happened since the last time that I blogged and maybe I could just add a little things to update. I am still working in a bank and as a part time tutor so basically I am working my whole Monday to Sunday. Don’t ask me how do I do this because I have literally no idea how am I doing this myself but one thing is for sure, it is a damn tiring life. My 6 months contract is about to end in around 2 months and I have been trying to find myself a new place to start at. I decided to postpone my studies once again because I don’t want my parents to have that financial burden with me going to university so I figured that I should save up money and earn more while I can during this period and pay for my studies next year.

So that is basically it for what happened recently in my work life. But outside from all the piles of work and stress, I have the people that cares for me and frankly, they are the reason that I am still hanging on every day.

Recently, I got to fly overseas with my girlfriend to Bangkok to enjoy a short trip just before my birthday and it was a blast. We had so much fun travelling around and shopping of course. As a regular to Bangkok, I was able to bring her to places to eat and shop and just having her beside me just made the entire trip a whole lot sweeter. As it has been a long time since she went there, I brought her to the places that everyone should visit when they are there for the first time. From the places like, Chatuchuk Weekend market, Asiatique, Chinatown to the food and the milk teas, everything was just perfect. The hotel that we stayed in for our trip was at Centara Watergate.

Personally, I have stayed in some fantastic hotels and I have got to say that this could be ranked up there with those hotels. The first impression was that it is grand and the cleanliness is top notch. The staff service there is excellent as well as they greeted us with a glass of tea and cold towel each. One thing I did not really like about it would be the location of the hotel as I don’t find it really convenient and near to the town area. But the streets are always lively at night and it is always a good thing if you ever get hungry while heading back to the hotel.

We spent most of our money on food and our meals ranged from 800 baht to 70 baht per meal and I got to mention that the meal at Chinatown was the most satisfying yet. The whole meal cost around 700 baht which includes a tom yum soup, two fresh big ass oysters, some veggies and a big ass fish to cap everything off. It was filling for the both of us and we felt that the price was super worth.
To sum the trip up, it was a very enjoyable getaway with my girlfriend and I am just glad that I have this travelling experience with her. We tasted lots of food and went to places to experience different things and even bought a baby pizza to have on the cab on the way to the airport. We flew back on the day before my birthday so I can be surrounded with my family on my special day.

On my birthday, we had a small gathering where my grandparents visited to have a bbq/steamboat session. The whole table was filled with food prepared by my mum and it was just an awesome dinner. Nice and simple with everyone I love around me. I even got a present, balloon and a very sweet letter written by my special girl who I can’t thank enough of.

So that was basically it! How my story have been and of course I hope for better things to come. And of course lastly, I would like to thank the people who dropped me a message to wish me a happy birthday. I promise to always be appreciative of what I have and aim to become the best version of myself.

That’s a promise to myself

It’s been a long time

My dear blog.. Yes, I do realise that I haven’t been writing in recent weeks or months even but that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss writing here. I’m physically and mentally drained(when am I ever not) and working everyday(and I mean everyday) doesn’t help that case. But there’s always a positive at the very end of everyday, that’s to talk to the one that took my heart and breath away. 

Working in a bank is a super tough job and I don’t get how am I suppose to continue working like this when my school starts but I guess that’s the very reality in life; there’s never an easy way out and I suppose that I will come out stronger. 

Since young, I never once led an easy life. My whole life, I have been chasing and running towards something I can’t even see or touch. Pushing myself harder just because I don’t want to lead a life like this anymore. All these blood, sweat and tears that made me the way I am today, I don’t regret it one bit just because it shaped me to become someone who is strong mentally. 

But now, things have changed. I’m starting to learn things differently and just be contented with whatever I have. I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, I have people that love and care about me, I have two jobs although it’s tough to balance at times; but all in all, I should be contented with everything that I have till now. Of course I still have the drive in me to continue to strive but I think part of my personal evolution, I have also learn to look at both sides of the coins; striving for the things that you want in life and appreciating what you have now. 

Everyone sees that either one side of the coin but a few sees both. Well, it’s never too late to be appreciative of what you have. Just don’t wait till it’s too late… You never know what life is going to bring on the plate next so let’s just enjoy the ride. 

On the side note, I recently just left the office at 10pm… I know.. Woah. Hahaha but it’s an experience nonetheless. I will write here soon but till then. 

The feeling of coming back home to someone who you love is always the best feeling ever. 

Wish granted 

It’s never been a secret how much I love stars, heck I even named my blog based on constellations. But have you guys ever tried wishing upon a shooting star? Well, I did. 

I still remember that night when the sky is dark and there wasn’t much to see except for the million of stars lined up above my head. I was feeling down and mind full of thoughts I wanted to get rid of just because it is like toxic to me. It was slowly killing me from the inside and truth to be told, I kind of allowed all of that to happen. 

As I rode my bicycle to a quiet place to throw all of my thoughts that are toxicating me, I suddenly stopped to see a shooting star from above. It wasn’t easy seeing stars in a city that never sleeps with lights almost everywhere in the streets but I actually saw a shooting star right there in the middle of the dark vast skies. I did what every normal being would do and made a wish. It was like a desperate attempt to make me believe that there is still something worth waiting for in my life. There were so many things that I wanted to wish for but so little time to decide. 

But I’m glad it came true. 

What was my wish in the end? I could have gone for many things like ending my sadness or being happy. But I came to realised that happiness and sadness is a choice to make. We chose to be happy or we chose to be sad, we can choose to be a lot of things but in the end, it’s all in our mind. So I simply wished for a light to guide me, to be able to see the light in all that pitch black darkness where it is cold and lonely. I simply wished to have the self realization of how to choose to be happy once again. 

And I did. 

Many people out there wouldn’t believe in this type of fairy tales but I would like to think that it exist to give us hope. Hope that one day, things will be fine and things will be okay. Hope that the light will guide us to where we are suppose to be. 

This is the hope that you gave me. 

Anyway, I found my reason to smile silly everyday and she’s the reason why I’m loving myself more every single day. She keeps my engine running and constantly striving to be the best version of me. And I will always love her for that support she never fails to deliver and making me feel loved.  

This is the hope that you led me to see. Thanks love. ❤️

A letter to the ones that walked away

Thank you.

Firstly, I want to thank you because of you, I learnt how to be a better person for someone else. I learnt more about myself and how I should love someone, so when I finally find her, I can treat her right. I learnt how to be myself and treat the one I love better than before. No one knows how to love since we were born but we learn and pick up experiences along the way. So I guess I have to thank the people that entered and exited my life because I might not be the same person I am today if it wasn’t for you.

I am Me.

I found out a lot about myself during these period because you get to know yourself better. Like from your likes and dislikes to other things like your character and personality and step by step, you tend to feel that you are moving towards the person of your dreams.

You can’t expect people to love you if you don’t love yourself.

Is what I would constantly remind myself of and I learnt that the hard way. In the past, I often find myself loving someone too much to a point where I feel that I somehow lost myself during the course of the relationship. I think for everyone except for myself and put everyone’s interest before mine. It was horrible and I hated myself for it because it felt like I locked myself up in a corner of my mind and struggling to break free. I couldn’t breathe and had to constantly be fighting to catch my breath. After a few months, I finally came true to myself and got myself out. I started to think for myself and see the truth that I wasn’t happy pretending to be someone I’m not for somebody else.

That was one of the many lessons I picked up while loving someone in the past and I think that I became a better person as a result of it. Now that I look back at all of the relationship that I have been through, I guess I have to really thank them because…

Somehow, someway… They will lead me to find the one that was meant for me.

and because I feel that I am a better person now, I feel that I can finally love her right this time.

Thank you. I will be cherishing her from now on.