The day when you finally get it. 

There will come a day when everything comes in place; all the big and little pieces fix themselves and together they form a perfect picture. As most of you already know, I proposed to my girlfriend not long ago and it was everything that people said it to be. 

Nerve wrecking, surprises, tears of joy; all of these building up to one word. When that word became the most important word in your dictionary, you know that you finally got it; you found the answer that you have been looking for your whole life. 

Many would understand that something so beautiful and precious like this don’t come easy. Sometimes it depends on luck, timing and chemistry. Through failed experiences in love, we gain and bring it forward with us. It shows that you accepted the past and go on to receive the future. However, sadly speaking, that cannot be said for all of us. 

Some of us are stuck in the past and finding it difficult to move on; or rather they won’t let themselves move forward. Most of us have a hard time accepting and moving on because we fail to see how everything could turn for the better, stuck thinking that that was the best they could ever get or deserve. Now I’m telling you that it is not true. 

You deserve better if you wish for better. 

Don’t ever put your happiness in another’s hand; or rather allow people to make you happy but don’t give them the right to take it away. Yes we will be sad, yes we will feel down but that does not stop us from choosing what we think we deserve. If you believe that you deserve to be happy, then who in the world out there can tell you otherwise. 

You make your own choices so learn to live with them. 

It’s been a while since I chose sadness. It doesn’t mean that I would feel sad every now and then or rather I would not allow myself to brood over it for a long time. 

We always deserve so much more. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to make our choices. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick up all these shit and move on. 

Onwards to better days ahead. 

My kind of Love

I wonder what I will be like when it is nearing 30. Waking up in the morning and seeing just an empty bed with you alone but you still get on your feet everyday because you are excited for the day where you ask her for her hand. Planning countless of dates and a proposal to sweep her off her feet but little do you know, she is just waiting for you to ask.

I wonder what it will be like when it is 35. Waking up in the morning, remembering that she went for a work trip and there’s the entire bed to yourself so you just rolled around doing some starfish poses but somehow ending up on her side of the bed just because you have already miss her.

I wonder what it will be like when it is 45. Waking up to the same old pair of eyes just lying beside you and wishing that you can reverse time so that the sun doesn’t have to rise and you never to leave this bed just because you just don’t want to get up. And somehow she have her own ways of waking you up for breakfast but some days, you just wait for her to wake up and slowly reach out to kiss her on the forehead and say a simple good morning.

I wonder what it will be like when it is 65. Waking up to the smell of your favorite breakfast with eggs, ham and bacon all placed on the plates and having her bringing it to you on the bed. So quietly blissful and just makes your heart beats as fast as the time when you first saw her. Still have the feeling of wanting to hold her in your arms and shower her with everything you have left in you.

I wonder what it will be like when it is 85. Waking up to an empty bed and untouched pillow and unwrinkled half of the bed because she wasn’t there anymore. She left you alone to fight and there is nobody there to remind you of your medications because she was gone. But thankfully, she went off peacefully in her sleep and wondering if it will soon be yours.

I wonder what it’s like to live life in that much love. And when you do, I wonder what it’s like to lose it to something as trivial as your body passing through time. It’s heartbreaking that the body can’t last as long as the love between two people. But it’s also kind of beautiful that love transcends physical nature. All we can do is experience it while it’s here and while it lasts.

My favorite make up of all: Smiles

Everyone puts make up on their faces, be it on graduation day, performance night or just a simple date with that someone special. Putting on make up somehow enhances our features and thus, making us look more attractive. So that day when I was taking my usual bus ride to work, I noticed a lady putting on some powder on her face which led me to think; What is the best make up that anyone can put on?

My answer? Yes you should have guessed it by now: Smiles

Smiling should be one of the constant thing that everyone should have on their faces everyday. From young, I was led to believe that all bad things can go away once you put on the brightest smile. Although when I grew up, slowly I realize that it wasn’t true at all. My first break up broke me into many small tiny pieces and tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. It was the first real pain that I ever felt in my chest and then.. I tried to smile. The pain did not stop or rather, it grew. The pain was so terrible that I curled up on my bed and cried myself to sleep. It was like a thousand million BILLION surprisingly sharp knifes stabbing me across my chest, but I just smiled like an idiot.

Through the years, I went through a lot of tough obstacles and heartbreaks and even if I break, I went down with a smile on my face. Those times were never easy for me and I am sure many of us out there have similar feelings about it; Life is never easy. Although I know that smiling does not make the pain go away, I slowly realized that it does not make bad things go away, it makes good things come to you. Every single time we think that we have hit rock bottom, things will start to pick up, they turn to be better. But do we realize that things turned out better because we start to see things in the brighter side?

To me, its always going to be smiles. I love how smiling can make someone’s day better. How a simple smile can make someone else smile back at you. How smiling can make someone feel better. People often forget that this is a powerful thing because I believe that it is a contagious emotion.

So why don’t we start everyday with the best make up of all. Begin everyday with the brightest of smiles. Believe me, it does make your day a better one and if it can help to light up someone else’s bad day, I wouldn’t mind to just smile at him/her and make their day a better one.

Smile people. They are a powerful weapon that everyone of us possess; the best make up anyone can put on their face.

Stories. 

Stories are part of our lives and it makes us who we are today. Everybody have their own stories whether if it’s good or bad, happy or sad, it makes us grow and becomes a part of us whether we like it or not. Whenever I talk to someone or listen to someone, all I see are stories that were left unsaid to the world. A part of me wants to uncover the hidden stories within people’s life and see and feel what they been through. Basically what is it like to be in their shoes. 

As my life goes on, I tend to meet new people and listen to their stories. Gain some new perpectives and knowledge, using it if it’s possible or applicable to me. These are lessons learnt and the things that I can get out from experiences. Stories that are imprinted onto each and everyone of us, so that is why I enjoy talking to people. 

My stories aren’t all good and not all are bad either. Because it’s how life is… It gives you whatever and you just have to take it and how do you take it, it’s another story. From young, I had some bad experiences and of course some good ones. But you know what people always say: 

“There are no such thing as bad experiences. There’s only lessons to be learnt. “

And I couldn’t agree more to that sentence. Okay well.. Not all have lessons to be learnt but you get the point. And I guess all these bad experiences made me who I am today or rather it made me realized what kind of man I don’t want to be; It made me better (i think) and I’m grateful for it. Usually it depends on our way of thinking and our perspective  in life. And seeing how people act in certain ways sometimes just means that they didn’t want to act this way but they can’t help it. They were brought up like this. They had experience something that even we can’t imagine. Not everyone is as fortunate as we are so we really should start learning how to be happy with what we have. 

Understanding each and everyone out there, listening to their life stories and just feeling and knowing how they feel, what they do… It’s just amazing. Amazing how they can get up everyday and walk the same path as we have and we have no idea what’s happening to them. All the fight that they are putting up everyday; inside and outside of their mind. It’s simply amazing

And this is why I take time out to listen. Because I believe that it does wonders to people. Make this world a better place. 

It gets better.. so put on a smile and face the world

Tears are such contradicting stuff; it happens when we are in happiness or sadness. It can come out as a form of a river or just droplets. Sometimes in that surge of emotions, we can’t stop the flow of it and it just flows and flows out from our eyes. Today, I saw it happened right in front of my eyes.

My sister broke down in front of me today and I was rather stunned as this was the first time I saw her so devastated. I just sat there and watched as she cried her eyes out. After which I hugged her and asked what happened… I had a rough idea in my mind and how I wish that I could be wrong about it. She got her heart broken and it was not a pretty sight. It reminded me of the times when I broke up with Sy, it broke me down inside and I was all alone… Crying my swollen red eyes out every single night. It broke my heart seeing her like this and all I can do is just to sit there and watch. Gave her some advice on life and breaking up(just because I had a few experience, it makes me a pro) hoping that she will be okay or get better soon.

Life as it is, is tough enough. We have so much to deal with each and every single day, draining us out physically and mentally. But somehow, some of us can draw out strength from within and just smile at the world; those are the real heroes in this world. They show us all that not everyday is going to be all sunny and fine but having a positive mindset and thinking will make everything somehow better. We have so much to learn as human beings and this is just one of the lessons; learning to find true happiness and just being happy with what we have.

So let’s just start by putting a smile on our faces. Cause let’s face it, we can choose to start and end everyday with a smile or a frown, it’s always going to be our choice. Feel better or worse, smile or cry, it is up to us. I know that things aren’t always going to be easy and sometimes it’s just hard… Everyone been through tough times am I right? But how come we come out of each one stronger than before? We grow from those experiences, we learn. Nothing last forever, not even sadness.

Talking to a very good buddy of mine reminded me of something that we shared and I am going to share it with all of you:

“Remember… The rainbow only comes after the rain”

Stay strong and just smile. Good things will come, just got to believe it.

Realisation

“Do you believe in Fate?”

In the sea of thoughts, I finally realised that I was just a coward and I needed something like this to remind me that I am actually not that bad of a person. And that she was the one that lost me, not the other way round. I’m glad that she is happy with her current life and of course, I wish her all the best in her future.

Yesterday, I was vulnerable, I was not in the right state of mind and I tried to turn back to what I thought was mine. To my relief, I failed horribly and then I woke up from my supposing nightmare; the one I thrown myself into. She wasn’t the one. Simply because… She doesn’t believe that I am good enough anymore… It makes me wonder if there was ever a moment when she loved me. But whatever~ Hahaha. This is not me admitting that I lost but its the exact opposite. Because when I find the one, I am going to be all that she is looking for and to me, she will be everything I love.

So back to my question of the day…

“Do you believe in fate?”

I don’t believe in fate. But I believe that everything that happens will find its way for it to happen. The universe drops hints and let us experience just so we can grow and everyday is a lesson. Just like this… every single moment and feeling is an experience; a lesson. I won’t regret meeting you and having all these long conversations and just making me smile day in day out. I will remember and bring it with me now along my journey. Thanks for all the kind words you said to me and i wish you well with your journey; as you too deserves to find someone who can love you for you.

The kindest words I ever heard was said by this wonderful stranger. She said that I am one of the most kind and wonderful person that she ever had the pleasure to talk to. And that guys like me are near to extinction. But… there are still someone out there for you too. Cause I still believe that there is someone out there for everyone… You just have to never stop looking until you find him/her.

Find someone who is proud to say that you’re theirs. Find someone who thinks that you’re always going to be enough and all that they have been looking for. Find someone that loves all the quirks and every curve of you. Fall in love every single passing day and just by staring into their eyes, you know that you are everything that they have been looking for.